YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
