I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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