just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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