I hate your face
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
