He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
