You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
