just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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