i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
