So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
