So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
