woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
