Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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