A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
