Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
