A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
