guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
