i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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