my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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