porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
