It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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