Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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