just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
