Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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