My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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