i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
