oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She needs sedatives and a leash
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
