butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
