just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Mom said you looked used
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
