I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
