The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
