It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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