love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
