Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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