You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
