Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
