OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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