Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
