How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
