woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
