worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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