He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
