Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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