How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
