So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
