Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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