Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
should my penis look like a turkey
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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