he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
