Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
