508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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