The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
