She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
