i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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