so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
PANTIES FOUND
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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