they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
