Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
