So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
