this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
