It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Randomize