Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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