i don't like sucking hair
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
