pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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