Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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