I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
