i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
God I need to hump something, right now.
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