Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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