My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
