Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
