just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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