he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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