I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
