i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
