we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
