Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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