All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
