Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
