I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
