Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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